Yes, I'm still alive. Too busy to update much, as you can see. There are
projects I intend to finish, but not right now, when I'm preoccupied with
not only romance, but grave matters of life and death importance that are
Some Really Scary Shit™. And that's all I'll say publicly for the time
being.
A friend's blog has the story of a brain-damaged
man getting ripped off in a mortgage lending scam. Victim of hideous
medical bills--resulting from his coma--he became unable to pay his
mortgage. Some truly disgusting con artists convinced the man to refinance
to save his house, landing him deep in debt with HIGHER payments to show for
it. (Readers are encouraged to post this on their blogs, webpages,
publicly-viewable forums, etc. so Google increases the page ranking, and
more people get wind of it.) The law refers to such practices as
"predatory lending."
Decided to let you folks know I'm still alive. Wow, was that ever a fun
visit with Jessica! I can't wait to see her again...
Per the last disclaimer, I will intermittently post new updates as I feel
like it. Here's a new spoof inspired by some recent political debates (with
oodles of blasphemy thrown in!), God
faces renewed "flip-flopping" attacks.
Fundies Say! may be coming back in an almost entirely
automated incarnation sometime in future, courtesy of an
unprecedented--and very generous--offer I received from a veteran
programmer. No guarantees, but you may want to watch this space for updates.
In the meantime, check out Reaper's
FSTDT, an alternative collection of fundamentalist silliness posted on
an Internet Infidels user's blog. Unfortunately, it could use some more
quality control.
August 28, 2004 Update:
This is the first addition since I've learned my beloved ordered a ticket
to New York. I'll meet her for the first time in under three weeks!!
Yes, I fell madly in love a while back. Observant readers will notice the
last month with multiple updates was May. That was about the time
I developed some l337 poetry skillz after finding her online...
If anyone is interested in taking over and continuing the legacy of Fundies
Say the Darndest Things!, drop me an
email, send me ('WinAce') a private message at Internet
Infidels, or just post an offer at
my forum.
Added a link to Glory-Guards sunglasses at LordCo Centre (see here).
I have no plans to stop making those parodies.
Future updates to other parts of this site whenever I feel like it.
August 13, 2004 Update:
After much soul-searching (just kidding!), I mustered the strength of will
to update June's Fundies Say the Darndest
Things! All the awards for that month are now added.
Returned days ago, but only now finally mustered the strength of will to
finish and upload Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
(June 2004 edition). Oh, the horror! The cataclysmic horror!
Also gave out very, very long overdue awards for FStDT!
in May. I apologize for the extreme lateness, but look at the bright
side--a month or two where regular viewers of this website had a
braincell-recuperation period.
Made a new graphic--"Rear
Handed to You"--at the suggestion of Wynand from the Internet
Infidels forum.
Modified some pages on the site (like the image gallery) to make them work
better on mirrored locations; removed specific references to the current URL
in lieu of relative directory locations, for instance.
Alas, I must now announce my departure for several weeks (starting
tomorrow), citing personal reasons.
May 30, 2004 Update:
Added a new section on the front page with links to all the LordCo
products I've helped design so far. This site, founded and run by a
friend with a truly wicked sense of humor, is a fantastic repository of all
things that make spoofalicious fun of (mainly, but not limited to) corny
religious beliefs. And after you're done, be sure to check out the rest of LordCo
Centre - because "Repentance is Futile"!
May 25, 2004 Update:
Finally added May's FStDT!;
as usual, this one is full of real whoppers and will make the award
nomination process painfully difficult.
May 21, 2004 Update:
Added all the chronically-overdue award nominees (for April) to last
month's FStDT!; hope to get
May's edition online shortly.
Added a new entry to the FStDT!
FAQ which explains how I was originally inspired to make the website.
As a side note, some may find entertaining this
topic at SciForums ("Proof of intelligent design"), in
which my parody to that effect fooled a bunch of people, apparently
including a biologist. Hilarity ensued as I put on my best creationist
impression instead of revealing the gag. ;)
May 6, 2004 Update:
Totally rewrote Organisms That Look Designed;
added dozens of horrendous creatures, lots of colorful pictures, and a large
number of new jokes (of varying quality). The changes are so extensive, it's
closer to a new article entirely than a mere revision of the old one. Note:
This article is NOT for the squeamish, as it contains graphic
depictions of nasty parasites & things.
Removed Questioning Theistic Beliefs, pending another total
rewrite.
May 1, 2004 Update:
Wrote an odd takeoff
on the Christian rock group Third Day's song, Show Me Your Glory.
Thanks to Justine for the inspiration ;)
Added Axe Grinding and Department of Freethought Suppression
to the Funny Pics page.
Reformatted all of the past Fundies Say...! pages to bring them in
line with the new, more readable tabled layout.
April 25, 2004 Update:
Added a fairly large update to the April FStDT!;
be sure to check it out.
April 8, 2004 Update:
Did a major update of Prophecy for Dummies;
added lots of great illustrations and examples.
March 31, 2004 Update:
Uploaded April edition of Fundies Say...!; as
always, readers are suggested to make liberal use of mind-altering drugs.
Awarded all prizes for March issue.
Be sure to check it out again, as well.
March 9, 2004 Update:
Upped March edition of FStDT!; be sure to have some
antidepressants and/or alcoholic beverages handy...
Somewhat reworked and improved Prophecy for Dummies
after encountering many a good critique. Thanks to Derek Mathias and
everyone else who suggested various improvements.
Added all 32 awards (Post of the Month, five Posts of the Week, and 26
miscellaneous prizes) to the February 2004 edition of FStDT!.
This month's issue was one of the finest in a long time, and will be
remembered in the annals of Fundies Say! as an all-time favorite.
Hats off to all contributors.
Added lots and lots of backlogged submissions to FStDT's
February '04 edition. Click the "Latest Update" link to avoid
manually scrolling down. Also removed an erroneous post.
In other news, visit my new
message board, which replaces the guestbook of days long past.
February 18, 2004 Update:
Added February 2004 edition of Fundies Say the Darndest
Things!. Additionally, changed layout; this and future issues will have
the standard dark text on white background, with the colored areas being
limited to tasteful borders.
Reorganized front page to more accurately index ever-growing contents of
website.
February 8, 2004 Update:
Added a new, 'legal disclaimer for readers' entry to the FStDT!
FAQ. Thanks to Mad Zur on the Internet Infidels board for suggesting
this.
February 6, 2004 Update:
Awarded all January prizes to
FStDT!; also shuffled some entries back and forth for a funnier order.
Uploaded a transcript of Chaos
vs. WinAce on Abortion - an AIM Debate; this impromptu conversation was
held at the request of a friend. Contra Chaos, I argued that his reasons for
prohibiting it were spurious.
Added notice to front page that I won't be updating the site for at least
a week or two due to pressing real-life matters. My apologies to all the
fans ;)
October 28, 2003 Update:
Removed some disputed posts by Haran from the September issue of FStDT.
Readers are invited to decide for themselves whether they originally merited
inclusion by reading this
thread on the Internet Infidels board.
Updated Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
and added 9 new awards! Is it just me, or are they even more
irrational than usual around Halloween? Just a coincidence, eh? You decide!
Added several new graphics to my ever-growing collection of images. 'The
Irony is Strong With This One' was inspired by an MSN Messenger
conversation with LadyShea. Thanks for the idea, Brandi ;) . 'Invitation
to Join Delusion' is another good pic, and Dark Magneto deserves
mucho credit for obtaining a great starting screenshot for me to work
with. Finally, 'Deity Employment Office'
is a subtle jab at the fragile nature of various god concepts throughout
history.
Added 'Post Hoc Office' to the Image
Gallery. This is a special milestone, as it happens to be the 30th
picture I've PaintShopped to date.
October 16, 2003 Update:
Updated Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
with quite a bit more zaniness. Check out the extensive line of posts by
'Consistent Thinker', who proved to be rather inconsistent...
Updated Wacky Search Results with some more
hilarious hits from Google. It's now up to an impressive 70 listings!
October 13, 2003 Update:
Updated Fundies Say the Darndest Things!;
after much consideration, awarded a mere 'Testimonial of the Month'
to an utterly mind-blowing post that could simultaneously be a shoe-in for
several other top honors.
Moved Image Gallery and the Horrible
Demon II review to their own subdirectories. Please update any
bookmarks. Note that this does NOT change the individual image URLs,
which will still work.
October 8, 2003 Update:
Updated FStDT! with some more hilarity.
Also, given the outstanding quality of this month's material so far, I
couldn't resist handing out 5 awards a bit early, among them the 'Tinfoil
Hat' and 'Most Informed Critique of Another Religion' prizes.
Added 19 awards to various posts in the September
Edition, ranging from Posts of the Week to miscellaneous prizes in areas
like paranoia and sexism. There were a lot of noteworthy contenders
last month, and some posts just barely missed the award
ceremony.
Fixed a rather bizarre (and, in hindsight, trivially obvious) error
in the Guestbook CGI script.
Thanks to all the people who promptly alerted me via email when it started
yielding 'Infernal Server Error' messages. You should be able to post
again now, although saving any long rebuttals and diatribes to your hard
drive before hitting 'Submit' is always a good idea...
Updated September issue of FStDT!; click
on the 'Latest Update' link to
automatically scroll to the bottom, where new updates will be appended in
future.
Added September edition of FStDT!; for
improved readability, all updates per month will now be tacked on to the end
of the file, not the beginning, and will be accessible by clickable link.
Updated August issue to correct
typos and remove a few erroneous posts.
Installed an advanced, JavaScript-based posting interface at the Guestbook
to make it more dynamic and easier to use. Some of the features include
Bold, Italic, Linking, Images, Quotes and Preview.
Updated Fundies Say the Darndest Things.
Awarded all prizes for the month of August, including more miscellaneous
ones than ever before. Additionally, added a separator bar to delineate
updates.
Installed an impromptu, personally modified version of Matt's
Guestbook Script, which I've titled WWW Guestbook Script v1.3.
August 17, 2003 Update:
Reorganized the layout of Fundies Say the
Darndest Things!, removing redundant text in order to save server space
and bandwidth; simultaneously moved it to a subdirectory. Sorry, all you
happy people might have to update your links and bookmarks...
Added August issue of FStDT!;
this marks the one-year anniversary of the net's largest archive of silly,
scary and ridiculous religion-related posts.
Looked over July edition and awarded
4 Posts of the Week, 1 post of the Month and 3 miscellaneous prizes.
Included an email by
"Sam Krishna" in the May
issue of FStDT! He no longer holds to Dominion Theology, a.k.a.
Christian Reconstructionism (the belief that an actual theocracy based on
Old Testament laws should be established) and wishes to apologize to anybody
he offended when he made such statements on Farrell Till's Errancy list back
in 1995.
Added Antibiotic Effectiveness: A
Critical Review, a jab at the incompetent critiques of radiometric
dating undertaken by the Institute for Creation Research and other
creationist groups. Those consist of little more but lists of cases where
the technique failed, compiled in a feeble attempt to create guilt by
association and discredit the multitude of cases where they do work.
May 2, 2003 Update:
Rearranged main page; moved links to a separate page
and added a great number of new ones.
Changed the name of my dumb quotes page to 'Fundies
Say the Darndest Things' and updated all references on the site to
match. This was due to several factors, among them public relations (no, I don't
think all or even most Christians are irrational
fundies).
Updated FStDT! with some more bizarre
comments; one in particular ('the one unforgivable sin is being a biological
Jew') is a shoe-in for Post of the Month.
Latest Update link to scroll down to the new additions.